Inner_Mother_for_Little

An Inner Mother for Little John
My own experience

This is just one example of how an inner parent induction might go. The overall process is basically the same as that developed by Hal and Sidra Stone for ‘growing’ a new self. Many other voice dialogue practitioners have since added their own steps to the induction process but it’s different for each person, so please don’t take what I have written and start inducting inner parents exactly the way we do it. Talk to me, Hal and Sidra, or your local facilitator.

Most of the text below is identical with the process for inducting any inner parent male or female.

1. The Facilitator began by talking to me as client in the middle chair, about my childhood memories of being parented and in particular mothered. Then he suggested I move to a place in the room where I would be more comfortable talking (as Little John) about those memories.

2. The facilitator welcomed Little John then talked to Little John about what he missed most, lacked or yearned for most but did not get from his real Mother. The facilitator explained to Little John that it was possible for "grown-up John' to create a new aware or ideal ‘inner Mother' who could meet these needs for him. (See warning at the foot of this page about choosing a term such as "inner Mother")

3. The facilitator reminded Little John that this is a magical process. "This is a magical process and you can ask for any skill, ability or any kind of loving or protection or any kind of person you would like to become your new inner Mother" Would you like that?
Also a reassurance:
"You and I will be talking regularly and each time you are here you can change or add more qualities to each inner parent. This is not a ‘once only’ chance to create a new protector parent."

The facilitator also assured Little John that he did not have to do any of the work to create or induct the new inner mother. Nor would he have to "help" the new inner Mother do her job afterwards. "This is grown-up’s work and Grown-up John, is going to do it all for you. But you can help us by telling us how well she is looking after you when we check in with you from time to time afterwards."

4. Little John described some of the things he missed out on as a child. He wished he had had a Mother who was easy going, firm but fair. He wanted an aware Mother with a strong spiritual energy (but not religious) to guide him, a mother who would shield a little boy from the scary things around her (including his real father) and characters like his Inner Matriarch. Above all he wished he’d had a Mum who would have said to him "You don't have to worry about that, it doesn't matter" . He also wanted a Mum with a cheerful voice who could dance and sing and not take life so seriously. The facilitator supported and validated Little John’s responses.

5. The facilitator then asked me to return to the centre or ‘safe’ chair (leaving Little John in his own chair off to one side to watch) and for me to move into my adult or grown-up awareness. He then suggested that I (Big John) begin to draw on my own ideas of people I could think of who had some of the individual qualities or templates little John had described and said he was yearning for. He explained they could be real people, characters from films, plays, books, fairy stories, archetypes, Gods, Goddesses, or anything else that came to mind (including animals). They could even be positive qualities I already displayed as a parent towards my own children. The facilitator explained that it’s good to mix several characters, qualities energies or archetypes into the new inner Mother.

NOTE: At this point a common problem is that memories of the internalised ‘real’ Mother can block the process temporarily. It's likely that the Inner Matriarch might also step in and try to upset the process. My internalised real mother appeared, worrying as she did in real life, about the process, saying Little John did not need another Mother, he needed to learn to be responsible and not want to play. The facilitator spent a little time dialoguing with the old internalised Mother character and then asked her to leave, before continuing

6. Big John (with some help from the facilitator) came up with a fascinating list of energies. First there was Dorothy from the "Wizard of Oz" she was kind hearted, she could sing and dance but she was also on a journey of self discovery. It would also be Dorothy's voice that would become the voice of the new Inner mother and say "It doesn't matter"

Next was Joan of Arc, not all of her, just the energy of being a strong protector that could defend Little John from characters like his Inner Matriarch and Inner Patriarch. Big John decided to draw spiritual energy and balance from another source to tone down Joan of Arc's rigidity. He decided on a Celtic Priestess, to provide Little John with spiritual guidance and awareness, blended with flexibility. Last of all was Snow White.

(The characters who provided the energy were not being inducted, only copies were being made of their specific energy templates, because those characters provided the ideal "templates" for the magic inner Mother that Little John needed to make up for the things he missed out on as a kid and also to protect him today from his cruel and heartless Inner Matriarch.)

7. The next step was to begin the visualisation. The facilitator suggested some possible "sites" or "scenes", a magic space which I would like to visualise where each of the template individuals could enter one-by-one and then allow grown-up John to copy their individual energy templates. Examples: A cloning laboratory; a Gypsy camp with a burning fire; A North American native village with a fire; A University Laboratory or lecture room room with a sign outside "Today - How to build and induct a new inner Mother"; a circus ring; a place like Stonehenge; I chose the Laboratory scene.

8. The facilitator began the actual "Induction" process, leading me and prompting me as I

- first visualised my magic space, the laboratory

- then invited each template character into the room one-by-one,

- then drew in each of the new Mother energies one-by-one (one each from each individual) and placed these in a bowl in front of me, mixing them from time to time

- then having blended all the energies into one new inner protector character taking the bowl and putting its blended contents inside my chest

- then standing and moving to a new position and becoming Little John's new inner Mother.

9. The facilitator then dialogued with my new inner Mother, welcomed her and discussed the job ahead, helping her visualise her role and encouraging her to play her part. He spent a few more minutes dialoguing with her to develop her sense of being a real character then suggested my Inner Mother might like to walk over to Little John, who you might remember was left energetically in the side chair where he had been facilitated earlier. Inner Mother spoke to Little John, introducing herself and asked if she could give the little boy a cuddle. Little John was delighted, accepted and was picked up and hugged by her new Mother. (My experience with others is that this may or may not work. If the inner child is not ready to be picked up, it’s important not to pressure either character. It will happen in good time.)

10. The facilitator then said goodbye to the new inner Mother who was still holding Little John in her arms, and I returned to the middle grown-up chair and discussed what had happened.

11. The facilitator then talked to Little John and asked him what he thought of her New Inner Mother. Little John was delighted.

Well that’s my experience of having my Inner Mother inducted. As with my Inner farther induction, it was one of the most powerful and moving experiences in my ten years working with inner protector characters, Little John and self awareness work. And not just while it was happening. So much is different for me since then. Of course after that I soon had my new Inner Father inducted, which was similar in some ways, different in others.

For more detailed information on the inner Mother inner mother induction process and why it works click here

*Warning: Inner children like Little John who feel they never had real nurturing parents are delighted with the names "Inner Mother:" and "Inner Father".

Other inner children with bad experiences of childhood parenting such as incest or severe physical violence are unlikely trust anyone with a "mother" or "mother" label. Most Inner children will explain this at the outset if asked. Suggest alternate names like "Magic Man" "Agent 007" or "Fairy Godmother"

Don't worry about those copyright notices at the foot of each page. It just means I want to hang on to legal ownership of what I write for use in future books. Until that day, please feel free to copy, adapt and use them to your heart's content as long as you don't charge anyone for them. If you want to use them commercially (charge a fee for them) I would appreciate an acknowledgment and if they go well and you make a profit out of them, I would appreciate an appropriate sharing.

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