An Inner Father for Little John
My own experience


This is just another example of how an inner parent Induction might go. The overall process is basically the same as that developed by Hal and Sidra Stone for ‘growing’ a new self. Many other voice dialogue practitioners have since added their own steps to the induction process but it’s different for each person, so please don’t take what I have written and start inducting inner parents exactly the way we do it. Talk to me, Hal and Sidra, or your local facilitator.

Most of the text below is identical with the process for inducting any inner parent male or female.

1. The Facilitator began by talking to me as client in the middle chair, about my childhood memories of being fathered or parented. Then he suggested I move to a place in the room where I would be more comfortable talking (as Little John) about those memories.

2. The facilitator welcomed Little John then talked to Little John about what he missed most, lacked or yearned for most but did not get from his real father. The facilitator explained to Little John that it was possible for "grown-up John'  to create a new aware or ideal ‘inner father' who could meet these needs for him. (See warning at the foot of this page about choosing a term such as "inner father")

3. The facilitator reminded Little John that this is a magical process. "This is a magical process and you can ask for any skill, ability or any kind of loving or protection or any kind of person you would like to become your new inner father" Would you like that?
Also a reassurance:
"You and I will be talking regularly and each time you are here you can change or add more qualities to each inner parent. This is not a ‘once only’ chance to create a new protector parent."

The facilitator also assured Little John that he did not have to do any of the work to create or induct the new inner father. Nor would he have to "help" the new inner father do his job afterwards. "This is grown-up’s work and Grown-up John, is going to do it all for you. But you can help us by telling us when we check in with you from time to time, to make sure it’s working for you."

4. Little John described some of the things he missed out on as a child. He wished he had had a father who was stable and reliable and sober, firm but fair. He wanted an aware Dad with a strong spiritual energy (but not religious) to guide him, a brave Dad who would shield a little boy from the scary things around him. Above all he wished he’d had a Dad who was flexible and who would say things to Little John such as  "You can choose" and would not worry about a father always needing to be right. He also wanted a happy Dad with a deep firm voice who would speak up on behalf of Little John and say to others "You leave my little boy alone" (Something  my real father would never do for me) The facilitator supported and validated Little John’s responses.

5. The facilitator then asked me to return to the centre or ‘safe’ chair (leaving Little John in his own chair off to one side to watch) and move into my adult or grown-up awareness. He then suggested that I (Big John) begin to draw on my own ideas of people I could think of who had some of the individual qualities or templates little John had described and said he was yearning for. He explained they could be real people, characters from films, plays, books, fairy stories, archetypes, Gods, Goddesses, or anything else that came to mind (including animals). They could even be positive qualities I already displayed as a father towards my own children. The facilitator explained that it’s good to mix several characters, qualities energies or archetypes into the new inner father.

NOTE: At this point a common problem is that memories of the internalised ‘real’ father can block the process temporarily. It's likely that the Inner Matriarch might also step in and try to upset the process. My internalised Dad appeared uninvited, as he did in real life, and started to ridicule the whole process, saying Little John did not need another father, he had taught me to be tough enough to stand on my own two feet etc etc. The facilitator spent a little time dialoguing with the old internalised father character and then asked him to leave, before continuing

6. Big John (with some help from the facilitator) came up with a fascinating list of energies. He decided to draw spiritual energy and wisdom from two sources, one a Celtic Druid, one a Buddhist priest, to provide Little John with guidance and awareness, blended with flexibility. Gary Cooper’s energy as he was in "High Noon" provided a strong, quiet yet very firm energy to set limits on what people would and would not be allowed to do to Little John. The voice of the new Inner father was deep and resonant like that of Wotan the powerful  God in Wagner’s Ring Cycle Opera. 
(Don’t laugh about this. The characters who provided the energy were not being inducted, just their specific energies, because those characters provided the ideal "templates" for the magic inner father that Little John needed to deal with his pesty Inner matriarch.)

7. The next step was to begin the visualisation. The facilitator suggested some possible "sites" or "scenes",  a magic space I would like to visualise where each of the template individuals could enter one-by-one and then allow grown-up John to copy their individual energy templates. Examples: A cloning laboratory; a Gypsy camp with a burning fire; A North American native village with a fire; A University Laboratory or lecture room  room with a sign outside "Today - How to build and induct a new inner father"; a circus ring; a place like Stonehenge; I chose the Laboratory scene.

8. The facilitator began the actual "Induction" process, leading me and prompting me as I 

- first visualised my magic space, the laboratory

- then invited each template character into the room  one-by-one,

- then drew in each of the new father energies one-by-one (one each from each individual) and placed these in a bowl in front of me, mixing them from time to time

- then having blended all  the energies into one new inner protector character taking the bowl and putting its blended contents inside my chest

-  then standing and moving to a new position and becoming Little John's new inner father.

9. The facilitator then dialogued with my new inner father, welcomed him and discussed the job ahead, helping him visualise his role and encouraging him it to play his part. He spent a few more minutes dialoguing with him to develop his strength then suggested my Inner Dad might like to walk over to Little John, who you might remember was left energetically in the side chair where he had been facilitated earlier. Inner Dad spoke to Little John, introducing himself and asked if he could give the little boy a cuddle. Little John was delighted, accepted and was picked up and hugged by his new father. (My experience with others is that this may or may not work. If the inner child is not ready to be picked up, it’s important not to pressure either character. It will happen in good time. )

10. The facilitator then said goodbye to the new inner father who was still holding Little John in his arms, and I returned to the middle grown-up chair and discussed what had happened.

11. The facilitator also talked to Little John and asked him what he thought of his New Inner Father. Little John was delighted.

Well that’s my experience of having my Inner father inducted. As I said above, it was one of the most powerful and moving experiences in my ten years working with inner protector characters, Little John and self awareness work. And not just while it was happening. So much is different for me since then. I had previously had my new Inner Mum inducted, which was similar in some ways, different in others.

For more detailed information on the inner father inner mother induction process and why it works click here

*Warning:  Inner children like Little John who feel they never experienced nurturing from their natural parents are usually delighted with the names "Inner Mother:" and "Inner Father".

Other inner children with bad experiences of childhood parenting such as incest or physical violence are unlikely trust anyone with a "father" or "mother" label.. Most Inner children will explain this at the outset if asked. Suggest alternate names like "Magic Man" "Agent 007" or "Fairy Godmother"

Copyright © John Nutting 1996- -   and   ©   GROWING AWARENESS   All rights reserved World Wide   LAST UPDATE  Wednesday, 29 April 2009 00:42

Don't worry about those copyright notices at the foot of each page. It just means I want to hang on to legal ownership of what I write for use in future books.  Until that day, please feel free to copy, adapt and use them to your heart's content as long as you don't charge anyone for them. If you want to use them commercially (charge a fee for them) I would appreciate an acknowledgment and if they go well and you make a profit out of them, I would appreciate an appropriate sharing.


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