An Inner Father for
This is just another example of how an inner parent Induction might go. The overall process is basically the same as that developed by Hal and Sidra Stone for growing a new self. Many other voice dialogue practitioners have since added their own steps to the induction process but its different for each person, so please dont take what I have written and start inducting inner parents exactly the way we do it. Talk to me, Hal and Sidra, or your local facilitator.
Most of the text below is identical with the process for inducting any inner parent male or female.
1. The Facilitator began by talking to me as client in the middle chair, about my childhood memories of being fathered or parented. Then he suggested I move to a place in the room where I would be more comfortable talking (as Little John) about those memories.
2. The facilitator welcomed Little John then talked to Little John
about what he missed most, lacked or yearned for most but did not get from
his real father. The facilitator explained to Little John that it was
possible for "grown-up John' to create a new
aware or ideal inner father' who could meet these needs for him.
(See warning at the foot of this page about choosing a term such as "inner
The facilitator also assured Little John that he did not have to do any of the work to create or induct the new inner father. Nor would he have to "help" the new inner father do his job afterwards. "This is grown-ups work and Grown-up John, is going to do it all for you. But you can help us by telling us when we check in with you from time to time, to make sure its working for you."
4. Little John described some of the things he missed out on as a child. He wished he had had a father who was stable and reliable and sober, firm but fair. He wanted an aware Dad with a strong spiritual energy (but not religious) to guide him, a brave Dad who would shield a little boy from the scary things around him. Above all he wished he’d had a Dad who was flexible and who would say things to Little John such as "You can choose" and would not worry about a father always needing to be right. He also wanted a happy Dad with a deep firm voice who would speak up on behalf of Little John and say to others "You leave my little boy alone" (Something my real father would never do for me) The facilitator supported and validated Little Johns responses.5. The facilitator then asked me to return to the centre or safe chair (leaving Little John in his own chair off to one side to watch) and move into my adult or grown-up awareness. He then suggested that I (Big John) begin to draw on my own ideas of people I could think of who had some of the individual qualities or templates little John had described and said he was yearning for. He explained they could be real people, characters from films, plays, books, fairy stories, archetypes, Gods, Goddesses, or anything else that came to mind (including animals). They could even be positive qualities I already displayed as a father towards my own children. The facilitator explained that its good to mix several characters, qualities energies or archetypes into the new inner father.
6. Big John (with some help from the facilitator) came up with a
fascinating list of energies. He decided to draw spiritual energy and
wisdom from two sources, one a Celtic Druid, one a Buddhist priest, to
provide Little John with guidance and awareness, blended with flexibility.
Gary Coopers energy as he was in "High Noon" provided a
strong, quiet yet very firm energy to set limits on what people would and
would not be allowed to do to Little John. The voice of the new Inner
father was deep and resonant like that of Wotan the powerful God in
Wagners Ring Cycle Opera.
7. The next step was to begin the visualisation. The facilitator suggested some possible "sites" or "scenes", a magic space I would like to visualise where each of the template individuals could enter one-by-one and then allow grown-up John to copy their individual energy templates. Examples: A cloning laboratory; a Gypsy camp with a burning fire; A North American native village with a fire; A University Laboratory or lecture room room with a sign outside "Today - How to build and induct a new inner father"; a circus ring; a place like Stonehenge; I chose the Laboratory scene.
8. The facilitator began the actual "Induction" process, leading me and prompting me as I
- first visualised my magic space, the laboratory
- then invited each template character into the room one-by-one,
- then drew in each of the new father energies one-by-one (one each from each individual) and placed these in a bowl in front of me, mixing them from time to time
- then having blended all the energies into one new inner protector character taking the bowl and putting its blended contents inside my chest
- then standing and moving to a new position and becoming Little John's new inner father.
9. The facilitator then dialogued with my new inner father, welcomed him and discussed the job ahead, helping him visualise his role and encouraging him it to play his part. He spent a few more minutes dialoguing with him to develop his strength then suggested my Inner Dad might like to walk over to Little John, who you might remember was left energetically in the side chair where he had been facilitated earlier. Inner Dad spoke to Little John, introducing himself and asked if he could give the little boy a cuddle. Little John was delighted, accepted and was picked up and hugged by his new father. (My experience with others is that this may or may not work. If the inner child is not ready to be picked up, its important not to pressure either character. It will happen in good time. )
10. The facilitator then said goodbye to the new inner father who was still holding Little John in his arms, and I returned to the middle grown-up chair and discussed what had happened.
11. The facilitator also talked to Little John and asked him what he thought of his New Inner Father. Little John was delighted.
Well that’s my experience of having my Inner father inducted. As I said above, it was one of the most powerful and moving experiences in my ten years working with inner protector characters, Little John and self awareness work. And not just while it was happening. So much is different for me since then. I had previously had my new Inner Mum inducted, which was similar in some ways, different in others.
For more detailed information on the inner father inner mother induction process and why it works click here
*Warning: Inner children like Little John who feel they never experienced nurturing from their natural parents are usually delighted with the names "Inner Mother:" and "Inner Father".
Other inner children with bad experiences of childhood parenting such as incest or physical violence are unlikely trust anyone with a "father" or "mother" label.. Most Inner children will explain this at the outset if asked. Suggest alternate names like "Magic Man" "Agent 007" or "Fairy Godmother"
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